Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category
Champagne. Bouquets. Several courses of meal without the hassle of deciding what to order (that’s a big incentive to me!). Birthday cake. A linen jacket that I wanted for several months, or maybe years! All this without the slightest hint. Yes, that’s what Sakshi did on my birthday on Jun 9.
She insisted on picking me up from work to go to Taj Residency even though her office is close to that place and it just didn’t make sense with Bangalore traffic. The booking was for 7 PM but we were on our way at 5 so we decided to have a couple of drinks. Sakshi was careful in avoiding that ‘one drink too much’ for me despite my insistence, and without leaving a hint of what was in store.
So we arrived at around 7:20, and the restaurant I discovered that we were going to was called “Graze”. It is a beautiful, Victorian, poolside restaurant, that is quiet and niche. This was only the beginning of discoveries for the evening. Quickly I realized that the table was already chosen, and the servers already knew Sakshi. Whoa! Even before I could digest that, champagne came rolling, and I was already feeling royal!
Cheers, and then the flowers came. Then the first course. Then flowers and then the next course. Man it just couldn’t get better. Wait – there was a cake and a linen jacket for me as well!!
It was all so well planned. Right to the last detail. Completely based on what I like and what I don’t. So much thought to make your husband happy. God – I don’t deserve her at all! As Richa said, “I’m a lucky dog”!
Well I don’t know. Or maybe I didn’t know…
More often than not I guess the first time someone murmurs the ‘I love you’ words they are out of infatuation, or with ulterior motives, or as in most cases as a response to someone’s murmurs (whose murmur is attributed to Reason 1 & 2!). Subsequently these murmurs slowly become a ritual, words that must be exchanged! I know this sounds funny, but hey think about it. Do we always know if we really love the person we think we love? Do we always mean it when we say it?
I experienced a tremendous fear in the morning when Sakshi, who by my opinion is still not prepared for Bangalore roads, drove the car independently to her office. The fear had nothing to do with the car. Thankfully I’ve never given importance to material stuff over people. The fear was for her. Moments like these alone, I guess, tell you the real truth.
With the entire Indian media busy covering the Ash-Abhishek story how could I be left behind! Abhishek is the third ‘public’ man in her life and Aishwarya is tying the knot with him. This made me think/invent the third man theory — many women I have known and read have gone in for the third guy. Including the ambitious Dagny Taggart of Atlas Shrugged. What’s it about them — “sum total of qualities”… Food for thought!
Somebody told me that I’ve become boring after marriage. The premise — I’ve stopped writing on my blog; rather stopped writing longer and maybe more thought provoking posts. Does that mean that I’ve become boring?
I don’t think so! I don’t feel that much talked about ‘change’ after marriage. My life has essentially been the same. Surely we’ve made it more comfortable for us, at least materially… actually even emotionally and physically! So if marriage led to comfort in my life and the end result is ‘boring’, then does it mean that comforts bring boredom to life?
Wow that’s some analysis. Probably yes. Probably no. When your life is comfortable probably the incentive of being exciting is lost. Probably. But another thought is that when you’re comfortable, you can focus on just that — being exciting!
So why am I being perceived as boring post marriage. Well actually the person was joking, and I know that! But that little thought has opened up a pandora of thoughts. And yeah it seems like mission accomplished — a slightly more thought provocative post than the previous few!!
I have an arranged marriage. So has my wife — or is that obvious! Both of us were into ’serious’ relationships with other people in the past that at some point in time both of us believed will transform into marriage. Neither did. Those relationships could only transform into chaos, ruckus, the works…
We have common friends who have, oops had, been seeing each other for six years till last weekend. They had those typical ‘been long into this relationship’ traits, and some ‘filmy’ ones too:
- Claims of unflinching love for each other
- Yet, constant fights
- Cognizance that their relationship will not work out
- Yet, those “we’re going strong” idioms
- Caste, actually religion, divide — with both families strictly opposed; financial incompatibilities not withstanding
- Yet, the hope that they will make it work out
- And yet, all efforts to procrastinate any thoughts about the ‘M’ word
If you really ask me, it had to end. And I told it to both of them individually in so many words. Maybe I shouldn’t have.
The girl got engaged last weekend to “that perfect guy”. And it was arranged.
6 years wasted — if only one of them had the courage to end it immediately after the “its not going to work out” feeling set in. Or. If both of them had the patience.
I’ve been seeing so many failed relationships in the past that it’s not funny — actually even marriages; but somehow my count of ‘love’ marriages/relationships failing is much higher. Have we all forgotten love? Or?
Somebody asked me this question. Can men handle reality better than women? I don’t think so — women are far too adept at handling changing situations. What’s reality — its what changed today from something of yesterday. To my mind, women will just crib till such time they think ‘someone’ can help the situation. When intrinsically they know it’s time to move on, they embrace reality with the utmost finesse. Men on the other hand find it hard. They find it hard to accept that they have married, or have had kids for instance!
Why is it so? Probably because a patriarchal society never taught adaptation to men — that was a thing for women. Maybe….